When I type out “fifteen months”, the first thing that comes to mind is “that’s all?” It feels like my 1-year-old twins have always been a part of our lives and I can’t even remember what life was like before they were born.
It’s funny how I’m only feeling this way now because, you see, I didn’t feel the rush of motherhood after giving birth.
But I’m finally embracing the term and my love for my kids has become that kind of love that my mum keeps telling me about: the love where you’d walk barefoot to the ends of the earth just to give your kids what they want. All of this is only falling into place 15 months after giving birth to my kids.
Perhaps it’s because they are older now, more interactive and can reciprocate hugs and kisses. Maybe it’s because we have come to a rhythm together, where my needs and theirs fit perfectly to form a beautiful jigsaw puzzle. Maybe my hormones are finally back in balance and I finally feel like me again.
Fifteen months is also how long it has taken for me to lose all the baby weight and the few extra kilos I had pre-pregnancy. It has taken discipline, commitment and a change in lifestyle but the benefits are incredible. I’ve never been one of those waif-like creatures who look good even in pantang (confinement). You know, those girls where the confinement lady walks in and doesn’t know who had just given birth? So far I’ve managed to lose 22 kilos while taking care of my twins without a house helper.
Fifteen months in and my family of four have survived three or four holidays, always learning as we go along. Sure, the kids’ schedules go haywire whenever we’re away but I’ve learned to let go. Letting go is crucial for every mother. It makes life so much easier and teaches the children to become adaptable.
Fifteen months in and I’m dancing again. My basement has become my dance studio and my personal space where I am brought back to times before I was even married. Getting used to this feeling was strange, almost like a parallel universe where I am the same but everything around me has changed.
It’s been a beautiful 15 months and when asked whether I would have wanted it any different, my answer still stands at never, not even a little bit. I love that I surrendered everything to the universe and just rode the wave that is life. Every kilo, every tantrum, every month was exactly how it was supposed to be.
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January Low, recent mother of twins, takes each day as it comes – because no parenting book could have prepared her for this!
